


Be soft, gentle, and flexible over things

by IanPeriwinkle



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Anxiety, Bluepulse, Comfort, Coming Out, Cuddling, Late night talks, M/M, Menstruation, Panic Attacks, References to Homophobia, References to Transphobia, Soft Boys, Trans Character, Trans Characters, time travel paradoxes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-17 07:44:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16970595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IanPeriwinkle/pseuds/IanPeriwinkle
Summary: Everyone needs a little comfort sometimes.Title from 'The Soft and the Hard', Han Min Ohn.





	1. Why, you've still the sunshine left

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 Title from: 'Comfort', Robert William Service.

Bart was panicking.

Usually, he liked to think he was a pretty chill guy. He actively avoided drama. He was as nice as he could muster to everyone. Hell, he’d even avoided coming out for the sake of stressing people out (mainly himself, but whatever. It counts).

But he was starting to think maybe he should have come out. He was starting to think it _a lot_. And in detail. And it was making him panic, and whenever he panicked, he ran. And right now, he was running without a particular goal. But there was one place he usually ran to when he panicked, and it – yep, that’s where he ended up. The kid’s park near Jaime’s house. Kinda sketchy, since it was three in the morning, but his boyfriend was usually up for hangs, no matter the time of day (or night).

He took a seat on one of the swings and pulled his phone out of a pocket that Iris had sewn into the inside of his jacket, made of the same material as his uniform so it wouldn’t get hurt by the speed he ran at. She’d done it for all the speedsters after between them they’d gone through around five years’ worth of phones in a month.

It took a few rings for Jaime to pick up. “Ba – _what_? Dude, it’s three in the –”

“I know, I know –“ Bart rushed to interrupt. “I just – Jaime, I need to be around you a bit. Is that okay?” And honestly, if it wasn’t, Bart didn’t know what he was going to do. Probably go for a run around the world and try to find some people to help. That usually distracted him from –

“ – dude, just give me a few minutes.” Oh, crap, Jaime had been speaking.

“I’m at –“

“The usual place? Yeah,” Jaime sounded tired, but Bart could also hear his smile which was a huge relief. He hung up, and Bart found himself waiting in the dark.

It was always those moments that got Bart the worst. The moments he had to spend with his own thoughts. There wasn’t really any stimulus at this time, nothing to distract himself with, and that’s when the worst thoughts started to come to the forefront of his mind.

Some of them were easy enough to get rid of. _They don’t like you_. They literally invite me to everything. _You’ll never be a_ real _man_. Well, everyone seems to read me as one, so. _You can’t save everyone_. Neither can Batman, Voices. Shut up.

Some were harder, though. _They’ll never accept it_. _You’re a_ freak _. You can’t do it._ “Ba –“ _You should kill yourself._ “Bart --?” _You should have stayed in the future and_ died _along with the rest of them._ “Earth to Bart?” _He’ll never love you._ “Bart!?”

Bart startled, and looked up to see Jaime staring at him in concern. He quickly forced a smile onto his face and beamed at his boyfriend, speeding to stand up and envelop him in a hug. “Babe,” He breathed into Jaime’s chest, “You have no idea how glad I am to see you.”

“I think I might have some idea,” It was obvious Jaime had gotten ready in a hurry. Bart pulled back to look at him properly, still forcing the smile onto his face. He was wearing his pyjama pants (Flash ones, that Bart had gotten him for Christmas), and he’d obviously just picked up a shirt and shoes and run. He was looking over Bart with concern. But then again, that shouldn’t have surprised him. Jaime was one of the only people Bart could never seem to fool with a fake smile.

So he let it drop. And Jaime’s expression softened, before he pulled Bart into another hug.

“Hey,” He gave Bart a squeeze, “Do you wanna talk? Or do you just wanna be, hermano?”

Bart had to think about it for a few moments by his standards, but to Jaime it seemed more like he blurted out, that he needed to talk in a minute. But first he had to figure out exactly what he wanted to say. And Jaime’s chest was awfully warm, and it smelled nice, and being pressed against it really helped with keeping the intrusive thoughts quiet.

He was really lucky to have as understanding a boyfriend as Jaime Reyes. Jaime never made him feel bad for the superspeed and associated problems, like the endless appetite, or the occasional barrage of thoughts and feelings that he just _had_ to get out _right then_. And he was always understanding about the fact that sometimes Bart needed to just chill, and to be allowed to not think.

While he was caught up in his thoughts, Bart didn’t even notice his boyfriend manoeuvre them until Jaime was gently coaxing him to sit down on his lap, back on that same swing. Bart didn’t fight it, and sat down, shifting so that his side fell against Jaime’s chest this time.

“So,” Jaime probed, after Bart breathed for another few moments.

“So,” Bart repeated, and made a face. He really didn’t want to talk about it. But he had to, otherwise the thoughts would just – “So, I’m not out.”

Jaime blinked, a little surprised. “No,” He said carefully, “You’re not. You’re stealth.”

Bart nodded, and paused to think again.

“Well,” He finally said, “I think that’s a problem. Or it will be.”

At first, Jaime looked confused. But then he thought about it a little. “Oh,” His mouth rested in a small frown.

“Yeah. Oh.” Bart cuddled into Jaime’s chest again and let out a small whine. “I didn’t want to tell them,” He said quietly, “But since I came back like this – and since I’m going to be born again –“

“They’re going to find out,” Jaime finished, and let out a heavy sigh. “Shit,”

“Yeah. Shit,”

* * *

 

Bart ended up spending the rest of that night in Jaime’s room, running off once it hit six, and the early morning sun started streaming in through Jaime’s window. Jaime had already come out to his parents as trans before meeting Bart, which was enough drama to have had him kicked out of the house for a while. His relationship with his father still hadn’t fully recovered from that.

He wasn’t sure how to tell them that their now-son also had a boyfriend, and Bart was fully accepting of the fact that he felt a need to hide it from them.

But now that Bart had to come out to his own family, he was really hoping for Jaime’s support on this. Bart knew his family was usually pretty accepting. After all, they’d taken him in after knowing him for just a couple of days. Now they barely even batted an eye at the idea that their grandson from the future was living with them before his parents had even been born.

But he also knew that Barry was a Republican, and he knew that Iris was strict, and he knew that Jay and Joan, though loving and kind, were still kind of behind on the times. Jay had referred to him and Jaime as “a couple of queers”, which had made Jaime flinch, and there’d been a big conversation about current appropriate language.

Thankfully, Jaime agreed to be with him when he came out to his family. Bart used their group chat (an ingenious idea of Iris’, after realising she needed a way to contact everyone at once, just in case she went into labour with nobody around) to call a family meeting, and waited anxiously with Jaime the next day, kicking his feet against the bottom of the stool in Iris and Barry’s kitchen.

He didn’t realise he was vibrating until Jaime put a hand on his knee and squeezed it. “Hey,” He said with a small smile, “It’ll be fine.” And somehow, when Jaime smiled at him like that, Bart believed it would be.

And it was, weirdly enough. It  _had_ taken a long time to convince Barry, Joan, and Jay, that Bart was, in fact, a trans boy and not a trans girl. There had been awkward questions, and an awkward pat-on-the-back hug from Barry, and Bart had cried, and he’d ended up showing them his binder and explaining how he’d semi-transitioned in the future, and he even made tentative plans with Iris to go and see a psychiatrist and get put on testosterone so he could transition “for real”.

And Jaime had sat there with him the whole time, holding his hand, and wiping away his tears.

And it was fine.

 

_Don’t you mope, you’ve still got these._

_These, and none can take them from you;_

_These, and none can weigh their worth._ – _Comfort_ , Robert William Service.


	2. My face is rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place pre-Chapter 1
> 
> Chapter title from: 'A gentle Death', Zeki Majed

Jaime could remember clearly one of the first things his father ever taught him. “Don’t let them see you cry,” He’d informed Jaime, who was blinking back frustrated tears after some of the church boys had pulled up his dress, “If they see you cry, they’ll make it worse.”

And small Jaime had taken that to heart. He’d still made close friends as he grew – he was happy to be emotional with people. He’d hug his friends as they cried, and he’d tell them how he felt, and he was generally okay with expressing emotions to people.

But he never cried. Not in front of anyone. Not ever.

Even when he fought with his parents – like on the night he came out to them as Jaime – he didn’t cry as his father yelled the house down, or when his little sister tried to hug him when he ran from the house. The tears waited until he was on his own, having set up a sleeping bag in Tye’s garage.

After not crying in front of people for nearly ten years, though, Jaime finally had his moment when Bart Allen, the train wreck that had suddenly crashed into his and the rest of Young Justice’s lives, sped into his room at Mount Justice with a bag of chicken whizzies and a cheeky smile on his face.

It didn’t take long for Bart to register Jaime’s tears, drop the snacks, and sit down at his best friend’s side from Jaime’s point of view, but to Bart it felt like an eternity. He hadn’t ever seen Jaime look this emotional, and to be quite frank, it scared him.

Jaime stopped crying quickly. He rubbed at his face, and shoved Bart away from him, and scowled as he yelled at the speedster to get away from him.

At first, Bart had stood a little bit away and stared at Jaime with transparent hurt. Next thing Jaime knew, he was gone.

And Jaime pretended that his heart didn’t hurt at the look on Bart’s face.

* * *

 

The next time Bart saw him crying, they’d already been dating for a little while.

Jaime was lucky enough that his parents had (finally) agreed to him going on hormone blockers, and for over a year he hadn’t had to deal with getting his period. But for whatever reason, his body had decided to hate him that month, and had cursed him with a period that had, at that point, lasted for two weeks straight with no sign of stopping.

He was curled up around a pillow, tears streaming down his face, and cursing the world. He hadn’t gone to school that day because of the pain. He didn’t know if he would go the next day, but he did know his dad would yell at him to “man up” if he didn’t at least get out of bed.

But getting out of bed was too hard – hell, he could barely even sit up without his stomach cramping to the point he threw up from the pain. The bucket next to his bed that he hadn’t been able to empty yet attested to that.

He hadn’t even checked his phone since the previous night. He could hear it buzzing occasionally, and he knew he’d missed a few calls from Bart thanks to the ringtone, but he just couldn’t bring himself to reach over and answer it. The last time he’d seen Bart he was three days into the Period From Hell. He’d called in sick to all Young Justice commitments since then, and talked to Bart on the phone every night until two nights previous.

So far, he’d managed to keep the fact that he was trans secret from his boyfriend, so he’d just let Bart know that he had food poisoning and assured his boyfriend he was okay. And that excuse would have been fine if it hadn’t lasted for _this long_.

“I think it’s a stomach bug,” Is what he’d told Bart the last time they’d talked. Bart sounded unconvinced, and when they hung up, Jaime felt a tugging in his chest similar to when he’d pushed Bart away.

Now, lying in his own blood and feeling grosser than he had in a long time, Jaime was kind of regretting not telling Bart the truth from the beginning.

But he also didn’t want to tell Bart. What if Bart didn’t want him anymore?

_If the Speedster doesn’t want to continue a relationship with you_ , The Scarab said, _due to something as menial as genitals, then he isn’t worth pursuing a relationship with_.

And generally, Jaime agreed whole-heartedly with that.

But when he was in pain, and emotional, and miserable? The thought of being alone just made him feel worse.

He let out another groan, hugged the pillow tighter to his chest, and tried to get into a comfortable enough position to maybe take a nap, but was startled out of his attempt at relaxing when his phone rung with Bart’s tone again.

“Mmmm…” He debated reaching over to answer it, and was about to, but the action of reaching out his arm caused another cramp to shoot through his stomach, and he groaned as he pulled his arm back to cradle himself. “I hate this,” He hissed.

“Yeah, looks like it,”

Jaime startled at it, which again made his stomach cramp, and – oh, he was vomiting again. In front of his boyfriend. _Great_. If he hadn’t already scared Bart away, that would be sure to do it.

Only it didn’t? Or at least, Jaime assumed the hands carding through his hair, and the voice apologising, and telling him he’d be alright, both belonged to Bart.

It felt like forever that Jaime was hurling into the bucket. His stomach still felt like it was on fire, and he still felt like he would throw up once the bile stopped dripping from his lips. He could feel Bart’s fingers still tracing patterns through his hair, and his voice murmuring gently in his ear, though he couldn’t quite make out words through the pain.

Eventually coherent thought came back to him, and Jaime sat up a small amount, meaning to just fold himself back like he had been before and bring Bart down with him. But moving made him rustle, and he realised with horror that he was in just a pair of boxer-briefs and one of his mother’s over-sized overnight pads. No shirt. No boxers. Just his tight little underwear, and an obvious bulge.

“Oh no –” He pulled back from Bart, eyed widening in panic. “Oh nonononono –”

But instead of the disgust he expected to see from Bart, he was pulled into a tight hug. It didn’t exactly help with the not feeling great, but it definitely eased some of the panic.

Slowly, (and probably painfully slow for Bart) they adjusted positions until Bart was spooning Jaime, one hand resting gently over his abdomen, and the other curled above his head. Jaime could feel deep, hot breaths against his neck, and he focused for a while just on matching them. It actually helped a little – he had some extra warmth, and he had something to help his breathing, and Bart being close was really helping his anxiety about the whole deal.

He supposed though, with dread, that they’d probably have to address it soon. Even if Bart couldn't immediately tell about the pad, surely he'd noticed his breasts. 

After nearly an hour of just being, Jaime managed to make himself speak. “So.” He paused.

“Hm?” He felt Bart’s head shift behind him.

“I, um –” Bart’s fingers moved to start stroking his hair again, “It’s not a stomach bug.”

“That’s okay,” Bart said quickly. Well, it felt quickly to Jaime, anyway. He could never really tell how quick it actually was for Bart.

“You’re not… mad, or anything, are you?”

And the pause that followed that was one that made Jaime sick to his stomach again. Bart didn’t say anything for a good, long minute. Each time another few seconds passed, Jaime curled a little more into himself and a little away from Bart, until eventually he was nearly as small as when Bart had first come in.

The silenced stretched on, until Jaime spoke again. “Please say something,” He couldn’t tell if his voice was small because he felt ill, or because he was anxious. Or both. It could easily be both.

“I’m not… _mad_ , I just –”

Oh no. Here came the breakup. Or the misgendering. Or both. It could easily be both. Oh God, what if he told the –

But then Bart wasn’t on the bed anymore, and his fingers weren’t softly stroking Jaime’s hair, and Jaime felt fresh tears spring up into his eyes when he couldn’t feel Bart anywhere.

“ – can’t believe that you’re trans, too,” Bart’s voice broke through Jaime’s spiralling thoughts, and he looked up to double check that Bart was still in the room.

He was. And not only that, but he’d stripped his shirt and was pointing out his – was that a binder?

“You wear one usually, too, right?” His head was cocked to the side, and when Bart noticed the tears streaking down Jaime’s face, he hurried back to the bed. “Sorry, that’s kinda personal, isn’t it?”

Jaime wanted to shake his head ‘no’, and explain that he was relieved, but for the moment he was too sore, and too tired, and too emotional, so he just settled for wrapping his arms back around Bart and holding him close.

* * *

 

After another few days, and a very awkward doctor’s appointment, Jaime was back in action and hanging out at Mount Justice. Bart had waited with him that night until his parents came home, and then left after giving Jaime one last cuddle goodbye. They hadn’t seen each other since, but Jaime had kept him posted on how he was doing as best he could.

“Hey, Her-Man-Oh!” Jaime turned to see Bart waving at him from across the room, bag of chicken whizzies in hand.

“Hey yourself,” He shot back, and laughed a little when Bart pressed a greasy kiss to his cheek.

And Jaime was happy. He had a boyfriend who loved him – and a boyfriend who could understand him better than most others ever would.

And it was fine.

 

_I was raised to be a soldier…_

_But love gave me a gentle death_ – _A Gentle Death_ , Zeki Majed.


End file.
